How Do You Judge Yourself?
Let's face it: there is no way that We do not judge ourselves. The pity is that We have not been taught through Our socializations to focus on Our special qualities realistically.
There are far too many people finding fault with what The Universe/Nature has given them and, even worse, far too many people finding false value in what they lack ~ like personalities, compassion, and the ability to "put yourself in another person's shoes" in an effort to understand instead of looking to "make-wrong".
And there are always, always too many miserable folks who want to create wrongs about you and look for any opportunity to speak out to whomever they hope will listen and join in the slander. Pity them. These poor creatures seriously suffer from a lack of self-love and never seem to learn that their lives won't get better by attempting to disparage you.
It is far easier for these creatures to attempt to convince themselves that they are "better" by finding fault with others than to focus on their own achievements and possibly discover that they fall short of their perceptions of greatness. Rather than take the opportunity to learn and grow, weak people stop their personal development with decisions of self-righteousness based on how they dislike someone else's choices and expressions.
I strongly suggest that you have compassion for these negative, weak folks because they are trapped in a void of self-disdain to the point of being blinded to possibilities for self-improvement and love. Wish them enlightenment.
Moving on...
I believe that the BEST way to see Who You Are In The World is by the quality of the people who consider you a friend. Friends are a major part of Our support systems.
I realize how fortunate I am by the fact that not only do I have numerous acquaintances whose company I truly enjoy, I have REAL FRIENDS with Whom I can share the deepest parts of My life, including My Fetish and My vanilla experiences. I have both Dominant and submissive Friends and friends of all sorts of the vanilla varieties.
The people who surround Me and care for Me are generous, intelligent, educated, talented, gracious, considerate, skilled, inspired, and courteous, among so many other lovely ways to be. My friends are from all walks of life, live all over the world (some I have yet to meet in person), and have a wide variety of experiences to willingly share. They are approachable because they are not afraid to be who they are. My Friends meet you with the intentions of accepting the great person you are, see you as a potential gem, and allow you a "safe space" to be yourself. They are great conversationalists as well as listeners. They give people the benefit of the doubt and offer forgiveness, but will not be taken advantage of. Their goals are to build a Community of respect for freedom of expression.
My Friends are stylish because they not only care about themselves, but they share My belief that it is One's duty to beautify your surroundings. My Friends are concerned about the environment and do their parts to make a smaller carbon footprint. They are movers and shakers, creative, and not afraid to try new things. They do not give up; they try another way. My Friends and Associates are animal lovers and respect nature.
Best of all, My Friends and Associates work on becoming better people and contributors to The Whole every day of Their lives. I realize that I have outstanding people in My life who consider Me a friend.
So, how do I judge Myself? Like everyone else, I have good days and bad days and times when I question Myself and My Mission. There is a continuous stream of attempts to besmirch Me and what I do by the self-loathing, yet I am smart enough to know to wish them enlightenment and not to be anything more than amused by their desperation to feel valuable with distorted views of the world. (Some poor wretches have even convinced themselves that the lies they've created are now true and make fools of themselves by telling those lies to others who were witness to what actually occurred!)
The reasons that certain expressions last throughout generations are because they are based on truth. So, I remember what the wise have said:
"Like attracts like." "Birds of a feather flock together." "Water seeks its own level."
I see the magnificence of My Friends (and Associates) and realize My Truth. I also realize the quality of My Fetishism! And since I'm not afraid to meet and share fun with new people, I am blessed with an increasing influx of wonderful people coming into My life! May you be so blessed and beyond!
Now, here is where you have to be brave. You have to take an honest look at the people around you and an honest look at yourself. If you don't like what you see, you need to be willing to:
1. Face your truth. Accept what you don't like about your life and let it be OK that you are at this place in your personal development at this time so that you can make changes for your future. The present is all there is and where you are right now is a glorious opportunity for you to (i) see how your past has created the circumstances of your present and (ii) make clear, conscious choices for your future. Only through acceptance can change occur.
2. Don't "make wrong". It will not benefit you to look at the people who are in your circle and decide that they are the cause of what you don't like in your life. Equally, it will not benefit you to make yourself wrong for what is obviously a necessary part of your Life Lessons. Make yourself right for recognizing that you want to make changes in your life and that you are willing to do so.
3. Choose qualities of life that you would like to experience. The biggest mistake people make when they want to implement change is to choose unrealistic goals based on fantasy-based ideals. For example, if you want to have more intellectual stimulation in your life, it is unwise to set a goal of, "I want to be smarter." It is wise to create a plan to put yourself in intellectually stimulating situations where you can enhance your education. This will bring you opportunities to be your own stimulation and to be stimulated by meeting people who share your passions! The most important part of any plan for change is that the ultimate goal must be to become better as a person who can make greater contributions to The Whole.
4. Understand that there are no mistakes; only opportunities to be creative. Change is scary. It takes a lot of courage to do all of the above and it's easy to get discouraged when you try new and different things - especially different behaviors. My Mother always told Me, "You never fail; you learn what not to do next time." So, as the old song goes, "Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again!"
I believe that I have real friends because I am a real friend. I give thanx for these gifts of friendship every day. What kinds of friends do you have? What kind of friend are you? The answers to these questions are, in My opinion, one of the best places to begin your path of self-reflection towards the beauty of self-enlightenment. May you like what you see.
A huge amount of people live in lonely ways in The Fetish Scene. It is part of My Mission to enhance the opportunities for building Fetish Families and Communities.
I look forward to creating more events to allow people in The Scene to get to know each other and make Real Friends to enjoy life with! I hope that you will join Me.
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