From The Beginning... sort of

Living Joyously: My New "Religion"

Date written: 8/4/08

I was filling out a great online profile once where choices were given for what My religious affiliation was and I chose, "I am a religion" from their drop-down menu! At the time, I thought it was very insightful of the website's creator and now, I see that truly, there are no accidents.

Several events have occurred over the past few weeks that have prompted Me to make a new commitment to Living Joyously:

1. My Epiphany of 2021 ~ What If?;

2. I won (another) prestigious award in My vanilla life for techniques that I have developed and am not thrilled about it at all due to the organization's prejudice against how I use My Work in the Fetish Arts (see My upcoming blog); and

3. I have embarked on My life of Responsibly Living for Pleasure, also known as My New Religion, "Spiritual Hedonism" (hey, L. Ron Hubbard did it, so have I!). In the past few weeks, there have been quite a few people who have not appreciated My Gracious Goddessness and because I do believe in the Greater Good, I have ~ as always ~ taken the High Road when dealing with them -- but I was NOT enjoying it! It is very hard to take the High Road with people with low-life behavior. It's even hard to take the High Road when people don't mean to be offensive, but invade Your space anyway. Resisting the temptation to slap down the twits completely takes away from My enjoyment of being a Sadist!

So, what did I do? I found a new experience of pleasure through My choice to be Responsible to the Greater Good. This is not easy, but totally worth it. We can grow through joy as well as through pain and We all know that there is such a deliciously, fine line between the two! My experience of the Greater Good is the recognition of the beauty of life expressed in all its glorious ways to allow Us to evolve into being the best that We can be.

So, this is My gift to you today: choose Joy and be responsible to the source of your joy and the Greater Good. Every time We are confronted with something that appears to block Our joy, it is a gift from The Universe and from your Highest Self for you to actually connect with your power and see how powerful you are. With power comes responsibility to be an asset to the Whole of Life because everything you do affects others in some way. So, start from a place of contributing to the Greater Good and you will see that riding the waves of Joy is just a matter of practice and strengthening your skills (like learning to surf!).

One sure way to strengthen your tools for choosing to Live Joyously is to focus on all that you have. All spiritual and religious teachings tell you in one way or another to "count your blessings" and blessings are something that all of Us who have the ability to read this right now have so many more of than the vast majority of the people on this planet. So, instead of whining about how you need a new car, or you're fat, or you don't have enough money to take another vacation, remember that you have so much to be thankful for. For example, you have:

• food to eat when there are people starving to death - literally;
• a home with running water, electricity, the internet, a computer, etc. - hey, you have a home when there are thousands of homeless people right in your country, even in your city;
• you have clothes, Fetish attire and otherwise, when the majority of people in the world don't even have shoes;
• you woke up this morning able to see the beauty that surrounds you, if you care to take the time to look...

Start your day by listing 10 things to be thankful for. You will be amazed at how in no time at all, things get better, including your ability to deal with stress and distress. And this will boost you on your way to Living Joyously!

One point of interest of Spiritual Hedonism that revolves around Responsibility is My concept and practice of Responsible Sadism. I am writing about these things further in My New Blog, and I will let you know when I've published it.

In the meantime, take a moment to think of 10 things you have to be thankful for right NOW and strengthen your ability to Live Joyously!

BEST Art Exhibit I've Been To - EVER

FIRST, My dear friend, Margaret Drue Wiliams (whom I affectionately call "Druzilla") was chosen as 1 of 8 artist from over 2000 applicants who received a grant to show her work in an exhibit entitled Other, Other... High Visibility, sponsored by The Longwood Art Gallery @ Hostos, the contemporary art center of the Bronx Council on the Arts, curated by the extremely talented Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz, and showing at The Nathan Cummings Foundation Gallery, located on the 14th floor of 475 Tenth Avenue (between 36th & 37th Streets), New York City. The Nathan Cummings Foundation Gallery is open to the public and there is no charge to view this magnificent exhibit!

I have attended many art exhibit openings (growing up in the art world) and not just because My dear friend's amazing work was chosen, but the gallery itself, the presentation skills of the curator(s), the vibe of the attendees, the brilliance and openness of the artists, the choice of art and what/how it represents the theme of the exhibit -- makes this one of the most magnificent experiences I've ever had!

I'm thrilled because not only is the Art World continuing to recognize the creative genius of My dear friend, but her astonishing talent is displayed with artists whose talents are of equal greatness in their choices of mediums and in the thread that brings their work together in this show. Each and every piece in this exhibit is remarkable and speaks to a part of you that can relate and imagine from a place of not-knowing-but-knowing. Each work is a testament to the luminance of creativity and each artist's expression compliments the works of each of the other artists. Now, that's an exhibit!

As always with certain forms of art, I saw a painting that was a big mass of colors and was wondering, "What the heck is this?" As I continued to see its shape become something identifiable, I began to appreciate the play of light and texture in simple brush strokes that evolved into intricate expressions as I continued to gaze at what was a section of a water tower. That was the beginning of My delight in appreciation as I looked to the next painting to see the top of the roof where the water tower existed with brilliant-yet-subtly-colored shapes that were obviously the tops of buildings. And behind Me, an ethereal haze of blues, whites and grays of the water tower in what could be how it would look in a mist, a sleepy awakening, a dream, a nightmare... All fabulous.

And just as I sighed in that magnificent moment when "it" becomes cohesive in one's appreciation of art, I met the artist, Dylan Williams (no relation to Druzilla). I apologized in advance for asking what I consider the "usual, mundane, stupid questions," but he was enchanting as he explained his inspiration. And each and every artist was equally pleased, polite, patient, and delighted to discuss their works with Me. I was truly in one of the many Heavens on Earth! And Dylan was kind enough to give Me a calendar with his works!

Artists exhibiting in OTHER, OTHER... HIGH VISIBILITY are Jae-Hi Ahn (installation), Desiree Alvarez (prints), Nayda Collazo-Llorens (video), Nicole Frocheur (photography), Takashi Horisaki (installation-mixed media), Duron Jackson (drawing) , Fay Ku (watercolor) , Charles Lilly (painting) , Gordon Sasaki (installation) , Xaviera Simmons (video), Claudia Vieira (installation), Kako Ueda (ink), Dylan Williams (oil on canvas), Margaret Drue Williams (screenprinting) and Chin Chih Yang (photography).

I am so inspired, wired, and thrilled with creativity, awe, and pride! I am so fabulously lucky that Druzilla is one of My 3 best friends. (I was also incredibly lucky that another of My 3 best friends attended this event with Me and was equally elated and delighted by such a fantastic and successful evening!) I have seen the progression of the pieces that Drue has displayed in the show from the very first "test" to the magnificence that hung on the walls before Me. Honestly, I got all "gushy" and just stared at the fabulous Harriet Tubman screen printing which will be inducted into The National Underground Railroad Freedom Center Museum in Cincinnati, Ohio. "Miss Harriet" ~ as We refer to the work ~ was perfectly hung in the great conference room as you enter the gallery ~ see photo of Ms. Williams, Miss Harriet, and Me below.

Perhaps, it is the fact that I witnessed the evolution of Drue's process into her creations of greatness. Perhaps, it is that I was a privileged witness to her spiritual growth and journey as she created and "channeled" these pieces. She told Me that she "heard the voices singing" as she created the Harriet Tubman piece. (History Note: The songs/hymns were used as code messages for Black American slaves to flee from slavery to safety and freedom.) Perhaps, it is because after so many years of restrictions from a government that was bent on killing creative expression that this exhibit is a triumph of good over evil with the hard work, talents, and creative spirit of the so many people that it takes to make an art exhibit came alive. Whatever the reasons, it is absolutely fantastic to feel creative and inspired by the beauty that is artistic talent in so many unique and marvelous forms, that I am beaming with pride and joy and belief in artistic futures!

Many people do not realize that what affects perception and experience of art is how it is displayed. Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz has a special gift to present art in ways that you can feel what the artist feels right down deep in your core. A short while ago, I attended an exhibit at The Metropolitan Museum of Art (My all-time favorite NYC Museum) and was a bit disappointed because, I now realize, that the curator's intention was to go for shock-value rather than to present the works in a way that the patron could have her/his own experience. I felt that there was an attempt to "convince" Me of what I should feel by the placement of the photographs, particularly a very large photograph of a dead squirrel lying, bloody, on the road. It was obvious to Me (and several other people I spoke to) that the curator's desire for control via shock-value took away from the sense of flow and the appreciation for the individual artists' works. This is usually not the intention of curation for art appreciation ~ and I made certain to politely comment regarding My disappointment. I believe it is the duty of museum members to voice Our opinions to ensure that the quality and reputation of the museum remains on par and to assist the curators in better presentations in the future .

I can guarantee that you will have the full opportunity to have your own experience and appreciation of the wonderful art so perfectly displayed and presented by Ms. Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz's dynamic skill in OTHER, OTHER... HIGH VISIBILITY.

There is one truth that can be understood and expressed in many ways: There is only love. Tonight was a marvelous symphony of expressions of love (1) in the beautiful works of art that were exhibited in this amazing gallery, (2) in the fact that during these difficult times that greatness prevails, and (3) in the fact that so many people support and believe in the power of Art.

I would like to say that the best part of the evening was having dinner and drinks with Margaret Drue Williams and friends, but that was just the icing on the great cake! For the first time, I got the full effect of how even more incredible Drue's work is as I saw it finished, mounted, and displayed on the gallery's walls. I thought I was in love with her work before, but this next phase has given Me the opportunity to fall in love with her genius all over again. (Now, if I can just convince her to give Me that "test run" of the Harriet Tubman piece that she thinks is "awful" and I think is fantastic... It's also now a serious part of history as the first draft of the final masterpiece.) I loved listening to Drue tell her story of creativity and "divine guidance" ~ as she so humbly refers to her tapping into her creative drive and spirit. Although, I see Myself as the friend who always asks, What inspired you? How did you feel? and all those "creativity" questions (and I have asked her at least 25 times if I've asked her once), I never tire of hearing about what inspires those who inspire Me. And I never tire in celebrating the successes of others, especially those I love!

Art is one of the most true and Divine expressions that We "persons" can demonstrate the beauty of love that We have to offer and that We wish to receive. With the benefits for humanity that are already on a roll with the new Presidential Administration that the United States has wisely chosen, We can already see that what is best for "the people" is at the forefront of the agenda. We have the opportunity to be heard ~ www.WhiteHouse.gov ~ and the ability to send an email to request that more is done to preserve and foster Art in Our society. NOW, there is an amazing staff, incuding volunteers, who is actively listening to Us!

Do your part. Contact President Obama and express your desire for enhanced support for the Arts and for the removal of censorship from the committees that oversee the National Endowment for The Arts. And see this amazing exhibit, OTHER, OTHER... HIGH VISIBILITY, if you can.

Here's to your expression of Love through your artistic endeavors!

How Do You Judge Yourself?

I was inspired to write this because in one day, 7 wonderful people called to cry on My shoulder. These amazing people (whose contributions to the world are astounding) got caught up in the "stuff" that makes Us all question Ourselves with judgments based on fear, stress, and the negativities that surround Us. While I listened and tried to be the best friend that I could be in that moment, it became evident that these wonderful people could not see themselves the way that I see them. They had no idea that they are My S/Heroes and they keep Me inspired and motivated. So, it is evident that this particular speculation is needed to remind Us that We are all human and should strive to be the best examples of the highest meaning of that term. This writing offers an opportunity for a perspective which will enhance your life. I truly hope that you receive what you need.

How Do You Judge Yourself?

Let's face it: there is no way that We do not judge ourselves. The pity is that We have not been taught through Our socializations to focus on Our special qualities realistically.

There are far too many people finding fault with what The Universe/Nature has given them and, even worse, far too many people finding false value in what they lack ~ like personalities, compassion, and the ability to "put yourself in another person's shoes" in an effort to understand instead of looking to "make-wrong".

And there are always, always too many miserable folks who want to create wrongs about you and look for any opportunity to speak out to whomever they hope will listen and join in the slander. Pity them. These poor creatures seriously suffer from a lack of self-love and never seem to learn that their lives won't get better by attempting to disparage you.

It is far easier for these creatures to attempt to convince themselves that they are "better" by finding fault with others than to focus on their own achievements and possibly discover that they fall short of their perceptions of greatness. Rather than take the opportunity to learn and grow, weak people stop their personal development with decisions of self-righteousness based on how they dislike someone else's choices and expressions.

I strongly suggest that you have compassion for these negative, weak folks because they are trapped in a void of self-disdain to the point of being blinded to possibilities for self-improvement and love. Wish them enlightenment.

Moving on...

I believe that the BEST way to see Who You Are In The World is by the quality of the people who consider you a friend. Friends are a major part of Our support systems.

I realize how fortunate I am by the fact that not only do I have numerous acquaintances whose company I truly enjoy, I have REAL FRIENDS with Whom I can share the deepest parts of My life, including My Fetish and My vanilla experiences. I have both Dominant and submissive Friends and friends of all sorts of the vanilla varieties.

The people who surround Me and care for Me are generous, intelligent, educated, talented, gracious, considerate, skilled, inspired, and courteous, among so many other lovely ways to be. My friends are from all walks of life, live all over the world (some I have yet to meet in person), and have a wide variety of experiences to willingly share. They are approachable because they are not afraid to be who they are. My Friends meet you with the intentions of accepting the great person you are, see you as a potential gem, and allow you a "safe space" to be yourself. They are great conversationalists as well as listeners. They give people the benefit of the doubt and offer forgiveness, but will not be taken advantage of. Their goals are to build a Community of respect for freedom of expression.

My Friends are stylish because they not only care about themselves, but they share My belief that it is One's duty to beautify your surroundings. My Friends are concerned about the environment and do their parts to make a smaller carbon footprint. They are movers and shakers, creative, and not afraid to try new things. They do not give up; they try another way. My Friends and Associates are animal lovers and respect nature.

Best of all, My Friends and Associates work on becoming better people and contributors to The Whole every day of Their lives. I realize that I have outstanding people in My life who consider Me a friend.

So, how do I judge Myself? Like everyone else, I have good days and bad days and times when I question Myself and My Mission. There is a continuous stream of attempts to besmirch Me and what I do by the self-loathing, yet I am smart enough to know to wish them enlightenment and not to be anything more than amused by their desperation to feel valuable with distorted views of the world. (Some poor wretches have even convinced themselves that the lies they've created are now true and make fools of themselves by telling those lies to others who were witness to what actually occurred!)

The reasons that certain expressions last throughout generations are because they are based on truth. So, I remember what the wise have said:

"Like attracts like." "Birds of a feather flock together." "Water seeks its own level."

I see the magnificence of My Friends (and Associates) and realize My Truth. I also realize the quality of My Fetishism! And since I'm not afraid to meet and share fun with new people, I am blessed with an increasing influx of wonderful people coming into My life! May you be so blessed and beyond!

Now, here is where you have to be brave. You have to take an honest look at the people around you and an honest look at yourself. If you don't like what you see, you need to be willing to:

1. Face your truth. Accept what you don't like about your life and let it be OK that you are at this place in your personal development at this time so that you can make changes for your future. The present is all there is and where you are right now is a glorious opportunity for you to (i) see how your past has created the circumstances of your present and (ii) make clear, conscious choices for your future. Only through acceptance can change occur.

2. Don't "make wrong". It will not benefit you to look at the people who are in your circle and decide that they are the cause of what you don't like in your life. Equally, it will not benefit you to make yourself wrong for what is obviously a necessary part of your Life Lessons. Make yourself right for recognizing that you want to make changes in your life and that you are willing to do so.

3. Choose qualities of life that you would like to experience. The biggest mistake people make when they want to implement change is to choose unrealistic goals based on fantasy-based ideals. For example, if you want to have more intellectual stimulation in your life, it is unwise to set a goal of, "I want to be smarter." It is wise to create a plan to put yourself in intellectually stimulating situations where you can enhance your education. This will bring you opportunities to be your own stimulation and to be stimulated by meeting people who share your passions! The most important part of any plan for change is that the ultimate goal must be to become better as a person who can make greater contributions to The Whole.

4. Understand that there are no mistakes; only opportunities to be creative. Change is scary. It takes a lot of courage to do all of the above and it's easy to get discouraged when you try new and different things - especially different behaviors. My Mother always told Me, "You never fail; you learn what not to do next time." So, as the old song goes, "Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again!"

I believe that I have real friends because I am a real friend. I give thanx for these gifts of friendship every day. What kinds of friends do you have? What kind of friend are you? The answers to these questions are, in My opinion, one of the best places to begin your path of self-reflection towards the beauty of self-enlightenment. May you like what you see.

A huge amount of people live in lonely ways in The Fetish Scene. It is part of My Mission to enhance the opportunities for building Fetish Families and Communities.

I look forward to creating more events to allow people in The Scene to get to know each other and make Real Friends to enjoy life with! I hope that you will join Me.

Join My Email List

My Epiphany of 2012 ~ What If?

Epiphany: 2012 ~ What If?

I am repeating this entry from My Newsletter to accommodate My writings on Living Joyously.

I am going to make a long story short. A few weeks ago, I went away to complete a Domina 101 Course and have a mini-vacation. I was walking My little dog along the beautiful cliff overlooking the gorgeous beach and saw a flutter of white fabric billowing in the breeze. As We came up to the top of the hill, there was a woman in a wedding dress standing at the edge preparing to jump. I immediately went into "channel the Universal Good" mode and said, "Well, turn around and let Me see that beautiful dress before you make a mess of it."

Obviously, she wasn't expecting that and before she could protest anything, I started talking about what a jerk the groom-to-not-be was and that if she jumped, he would have something else to use as leverage to excuse his cowardly behavior for standing her up at the altar and sucker in fools to have sympathy for him! Not once did I tell her not to jump because that is the worst thing to do with a person whose emotional state is so wrecked that suicide is a consideration. It sets you up for trying to come up with good reasons for them not to die, which can be frustrating depending upon the circumstances, and can actually make things look worse to them.

After talking about all kinds of things -- like convincing her to let Me see her shoes (of course!) -- I felt Divine Guidance take over and was able to actually hear what was coming through Me for her. I heard Myself say, "WHAT IF the Mayans were right? Let's just say that the end of the cycle on December 21, 2012 is in some way the end of the world. That means We only have 3 1/2 years left of partying! That's not a lot of time and killing yourself now would suck because you would have nothing to lose by living a life committed to having a good time and being as happy as you could outrageously be!" Well, that clicked for her and it clicked for Me. I don't know exactly how long I stood there talking to her, but as night began to fall, I saw flashing lights behind us and realized that a very smart sheriff knew not to interfere and allowed Me to bring her to the car to take her to safety. So, now I'm a heroine to the town and she is doing better every day.

It took about a week before it all "came to a head" in My mind. True, that was a harrowing experience that I hope never to have again, but it gave Me a new perspective on how I want to live My life from now on. Yes, I have always been a hedonist, but now, WHAT IF? is My mantra. I now commit to living My life with unadulterated joy in the pursuit of My happiness and have as much fun as I possibly can from this moment on.

I know that to begin each day with gratitude, consciously counting at least 10 things to be thankful for, is a powerful way to increase positivity in your life. I will do more to improve My ability to tolerate the intolerable for My benefit and create ways not to be bothered with the bothersome. My focus is on My joy because joy is infectious and those around Me will become joyous, too, and so on and so on...

Now, people can say, "And how will you feel when you wake up on December 22, 2012 and the world didn't end?" My answer is that I will feel fantastic because I partied and enjoyed life all the way up to 12/21/012 and now, I'm going to have a party to celebrate that the world didn't end! It's a win-win situation.

As I continue to put My focus on My joy, I expect that I will create all kinds of interesting ways to enjoy being a part of Our Community! I look forward to delighting in the energies of those who participate in the creation of a Life of Joy with Me!

So, when things get you down, try thinking of WHAT IF? Truly, you have nothing to lose and nothing to fear. If nothing else, you will find ways to discover, experience, and enhance your joy. Sounds fantastic to Me!